Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
