So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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