remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
