Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
