Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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