I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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