I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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