if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
