I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
