I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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