So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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