yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize