WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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