I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
