I must be too annoying 4 u.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
