i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
