I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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