I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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