i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
