I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
