we have officially mastered the walk of shame
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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