I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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