My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
