What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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