Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
