no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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