I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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