Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
