I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
