1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
