New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
