We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize