Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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