Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
