I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
