ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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