And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
