i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
