If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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