thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize