It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
