Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
