i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
