A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize