This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
