butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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