Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
