My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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