Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
