things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
