Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
