forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
