After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
