dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
