1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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