so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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