Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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