New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
