Moan for me like Helen Keller
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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