Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
