remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
