You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
